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Overwhelmed by God
By: Tom Norvell
Vol. 13 No. 34 | August 23, 2010
On Thursday morning I read chapter 5, “Exploring the Unthinkable,” in Lynn Anderson’s Talking Back to God*. It worked, Lynn. I read the chapter. Even readPsalm 88 aloud as Lynn suggests. Finished the chapter and thought, “That’s good. I will be surprised if Lament Teams catch on, but the thoughts were good.” Placed the book on my desk and continued to finish preparing for another day. As I showered, dressed, gathered my things and drove to the office, those words lingered with me. The 88th Psalm ends with these words, “The darkness is my closest friend.”
When I got to my office I opened the chapter again and followed Lynn suggestion at the end to “Pick a psalm that helps you explore the uncomfortable. Consider one of the following: Psalm 2, 42, 51, 88, 13.” I read them all.
When I began Psalm 42 the tears began to flow. It reads:
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
Where can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
‘Where is your God?’
I wonder if the next time we sing that song if I’ll be able to sing without crying.
By the time I reached Psalm 51 (the text I was preparing to preach from on Sunday) tears were streaming down my face.
Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.
Rest easy. I have no intention of unloading a confession of some deep-dark-never-before-confessed-sin on you. However, as Lynn’s words suggest, “The Psalms give us a praying voice that is not stuffing, not venting, but something much more. Reading, praying, singing, memorizing, and ministering the Psalms gives us an emotional and spiritual health that helps us deal with the dark side of our hearts.” (p. 68)
On this day these Psalms have opened the flood gates of emotion that, for one reason or another, apparently have been partially closed. The thirst to have a genuine encounter with God. The desire to be in God’s presence. The yearning for my spirit to be renewed. The open expression that at times “the darkness is my closest friend.” And the admission that there are times when tears have been my food.
Some may ask, “Tom, are you depressed? Are you sad? Are you losing touch with reality?” No. I am simply overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by the God who created me. Overwhelmed by the longings in my soul for a deeper relationship with the Father. Overwhelmed by the desire to have my soul refreshed, renewed, and restored. Overwhelmed by the feeling that the God who created the universe will listen to the cries of my heart without judging me, rebuking me, or rejecting me. Overwhelmed by the power of opening God’s word and allowing it to work within my heart and spirit. Overwhelmed by the realization that God loves me enough to provide an outlet for the thoughts and emotions that can only be expressed with the help of His Spirit.
So, what’s my point? Open God’s word, particularly the Psalms, and allow God to overwhelm you. Allow His greatness to amaze you. Allow His presence to change you.
Tom
By the way, I highly recommend Lynn’s book.
* Lynn Anderson, “Exploring the Unthinkable” in Talking Back to God Abilene, TX: Leafwood Publishers, 2010), 65-76.
© Copyright 2010 Tom Norvell. All rights reserved.